208. Picky, Picky - Leslie

• FADE IN:


• INT. FOOD ON THE CHEAP GROCERY STORE - NIGHT


• AMY and TONY stalk the spice aisle of the Food on the Cheap grocery store.


• Amy moves gingerly.


• TONY
• Oh for goodness sakes, it's not that bad. It's just a cheap grocery store.


• AMY
• Cheap means low quality and less sanitary.


• Tony rolls his eyes.


• TONY
• Ok, I want some rosemary, let's see...we just need a pinch of white pepper, but that's always nice to have on hand, so let me get the big bottle.


• AMY
• Mexican oregano?


• TONY
• Oh! Good call.


• Amy slips a small bottle of hand sanitizer from her purse and attempts to clean her hands without Tony noticing.


• He sees her.


• TONY
• Oh for the love of Saint Pete! See, it's a requirement of mine that the woman I marry can shop in an Asian wet market and not blink. This isn't anything.


• AMY
• And that's why you travel and I don't. So what else does your ideal woman do?


• They leave the aisle and head for the fresh produce.


• TONY
• I worked on set with a grip once. She could wear a tool belt. Not everyone can wear a tool belt and look good, much less hot. She was smokin' with that tool belt. Not a requirement though....but if my wife can wear a tool belt like that...oh yes, yes it will be a good thing.


• AMY
• Well, seeing as I don't even know what a grip is, I'm just going to stay in the no comment zone.


• Tony starts inspecting fresh basil leaves.


• Amy rests her hand on a shelf then yanks it off, reaching for the hand sanitizer again.


• TONY
• Seriously? What are you afraid of, catching poor people germs?


• A woman in front of Tony turns and glares.


• TONY
• Sorry Ma'am...was speaking in a completely sardonic fashion there. I myself, as a member of the poorer species, ooze poor people germs.


• The lady shakes her head and turns back to the broccoli.


• TONY
• Yeah, but most importantly, my wife will be able shop a wet market fearlessly and with the skill of Leonardo da Vinci.


• AMY
• Good thing I'm your cousin then, Mr. Picky Picky.


• He pokes her shoulder.


• TONY
• Good thing.


• She rolls her eyes at him.


• FADE TO BLACK.