266. Sir Rigby - Leslie

• FADE IN:


• EXT. SIR RIGBY'S COTTAGE - DAY


• Sir Rigby's Cottage sits in a beautiful meadow surrounded by a lush forest.


• The cottage is surrounded by rows of beautiful flowers.


• NARRATOR (V.O.)
• Once upon a time in the land of Ilia, in the meadow of Nin, surrounded by the Whispering Forest, there lived a knight named Sir Rigby.


• Sir Rigby walks out of his doorway.


• He is dressed in a full suit of armor, a sword strapped to his side, and one at his back.
  


• His head swivels suspiciously.


• NARRATOR (V.O.)
• Sir Rigby was a master gardener, a valiant warrior, a maestro with the oven - his carrot cake was not to be missed - and deathly allergic to marigolds, an important detail, as you shall see.


• Sir Rigby inspects his flowers.


• NARRATOR (V.O.)
• Now Sir Rigby had but one fault, one his fellow townspeople found fairly docile and amusing. Sir Rigby had the unfortunate habit of thinking that every little challenge was a battle.


• A fly buzzes down past his ear and he pulls his dagger and dashes off in waving at it madly, his armor clanking.


• INT. SIR RIGBY'S COTTAGE - DAY


• NARRATOR (V.O.)
• Though amusing, Sir Rigby's affliction could incur a heavy repair bill at times.


• Sir Rigby stands over his sink trying to turn on the faucet; the water sputters, then stops.


• He draws his sword.


• SIR RIGBY
• Foul faucet! Relent!


• The faucet drips.


• SIR RIGBY
• Surrender, I say!


• The faucet is silent.


• With a cry, Sir Rigby attacks the faucet, hacking at it with his sword.


• EXT. THE WHISPERING FOREST - DAY


• Sir Rigby walks through the forest with LADY FARNSWORTH FARNSWORTH who smiles fondly at him.


• NARRATOR (V.O.)
• Thankfully, Sir Rigby balanced his unfortunate habits with his wonderful charm. A wonderful charm he spent most of his time expending on a certain Lady Farnsworth Farnsworth of whom he was most fond of (the Farnsworth Farnsworth's insisted on the repetition of their name, though the original reason was lost in the shrouds of Farnsworth Farnsworth legend).


• He picks a flower and hands it to her.


• NARRATOR (V.O.)
• They would walk through the forests and enjoy long conversations about all sorts of wonderful things. And every once in a while, they would hold hands.


• Lady Farnsworth Farnsworth grabs Sir Rigby's hand and they each smile to themselves.


• EXT. SIR RIGBY'S COTTAGE - DAY


• Lady Farnsworth Farnsworth waves goodbye to Sir Rigby and begins walking down the path back to the town.


• He waves back, smiling; then draws a dagger to ward off a threatening bee.


• NARRATOR (V.O.)
• As time passed, Sir Rigby grew more and more suspicious of Lady Farnsworth Farnsworth. Their disagreement on the matter of the earth's rotation bothered him greatly. Like all good Ilians, Sir Rigby knew the earth rotated to the right, but Lady Farnsworth Farnsworth supported the idea the terrestrial spin was in a leftward direction. This bothered him, for he wondered if it hinted at darker and deeper heresies. As time passed, he began to wonder if she had been sent by enemies to exploit his vulnerabilities.


• EXT. SIR RIGBY'S COTTAGE - DAY


• Lady Farnsworth Farnsworth walks down the path to the cottage holding a bouquet of flowers.


• NARRATOR (V.O.)
• One fateful day, Lady Farnsworth Farnsworth came to visit, bearing a bouquet of tulips and marigolds. She had thought it was so beautiful that any thought about Sir Rigby's deathly allergy had slipped clear from her mind.


• She enters the house and we see her silhouette greet Sir Rigby's silhouette through the window.


• Sir Rigby draws back.


• NARRATOR (V.O.)
• Seeing the deadly bouquet, Sir Rigby was convinced that Lady Farnsworth Farnsworth was truly a spy sent from the nearby Republic of Hamshire to kill him.


• Sir Rigby draws his sword, there is a shriek, and his silhouette plunges it into Lady Farnsworth Farnsworth's silhouette.


• NARRATOR (V.O.)
• Two days later, the neighboring Kingdom of Brockham upon Devon invaded, and the brave warriors of Ilia marched to meet them, but Sir Rigby was no where to be found, for he had fled, but to this day, a bouquet of marigolds and tulips wet with tears can be found on the steps of his cottage once a year on the day of Lady Farnsworth Farnsworth's untimely demise.


• FADE TO BLACK.