Wednesday, January 2, 2008

2. Rock, Scissors, Liver - Eric












FADE IN:

INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM-NIGHT

Two college students, a male and female are sitting next to each other, taking off their winter jackets and unbundling their scarves. Both kick a little snow off their boots and pick up a random magazine off the waiting room inn table. They pretend to read. A photo of a WHITE ELEPHANT is on the cover of Thomas’s National Geographic. A minute later, both simultaneously toss the magazines back down and turn to each other.

GLADYS
I know what you’re thinking.

THOMAS
Yeah.


GLADYS
Well, sigh.
I know you’re better friends with him than I.

Thomas looks at her incredulously and shakes his head slightly. Gladys looks away and twirls the fringes of her sky-blue SCARF around.

THOMAS
But you’ve always been a churchy.
I mean you believe in stuff
like this…helping other people.
You’re a good person. I’m just a heathen.

Thomas looks down at his dark brown SCARF and begins raveling it and unraveling it around his forearm.

GLADYS
I don’t think death’s so bad.
We spend our whole lives building up to that next thing.
Like everything we do is just something to set up for another thing.
We go to elementary school, to set up for High school,
to set up for college, to get a job,
to set up for marriage, to buy a home, ad infinitum.
In death, at least we can finally accomplish something.
It’s the grand finale, there’s no next “thing” we have to do, or set up for.

Thomas stops unraveling his scarf and faces her again, with a scared and bewildered look on his face.

THOMAS
You…Gladys…are one sick…

Thomas shakes his head and looks at his scarf, but doesn’t ravel and unravel it. He looks pensive. Gladys leans back in her seat and smiles. A minute later Thomas looks back at Gladys. She is applying lipstick with a hand held mirror. Thomas sighs.

GLADYS
Life is like the bed you have to make every morning,
even though you know you’ll be sleeping it again that same ni-

THOMAS

You’re sitting here putting on makeup at a time like this?
Talking nihilistic sewage. I can’t believe you. If you’re so cool
about the death thing why don’t you go ahead and do it?

Gladys pauses, and lowers her MIRROR. She takes a Bukowski novel from her purse and ruffles the pages.

GLADYS
No. I never said I wasn’t afraid. I’m a human being.
I have survival needs. I’m just saying that once it did happen,
would it really be so bad? Would we even know?


THOMAS

I just don’t want to be guilt tripped
into this whole thing. Duane needs us right now.

GLADYS
Okay, okay. I don’t either. But you’re trying to hold me
to some standard that you yourself don’t even have,
just because I go to the little steeple once a week and give praise.
I try to hit every congregation just to make sure I haven’t left any gods out.
What kind of insurance plan do you have?

Thomas flushes red and leaps out of his chair. He stands in front of Gladys with his hands clasped in a tight grip. The others in the waiting room begin turning their heads toward him.

THOMAS (whispering angrily)
You sick little bitch! You think this is a game?

Gladys looks around nervously at the others in the room. She motions softly for Thomas to sit down. He remains standing but lowers his hands. She is still clearly frightened.

GLADYS (whispering)
Testosterone Thomas, man, sit down. Relax.
We both know we’re the right type.
Someone’s got to be the sacrificial lamb.
I say we do a rock, scissors, paper for it.

A gamut of emotion floods Thomas’s face, confusion, surprise, anger. He raises his clenched hands again, but then slowly lowers them. His face softens.

GLADYS
No one wants to do it, but someone has to.
It’s not like it’s the death penalty anyway, just a little surgery.

Thomas sighs and sits back down. The others in the room slowly turn away to their previous business.

THOMAS
I didn’t tell him to swallow a whole damned
bottle of Percocet and guzzle SoCo all night.

GLADYS
I didn’t tell your little frat boys to haze him either.
But they did, and he did, and well I’m here and you’re here
and we don’t have much time. You backing out on me?


THOMAS
Best two out of three?

GLADYS

Bring it on testosterone Thomas.

They begin playing the famous rock-scissors-paper game.
In the first round Thomas shows rock, Gladys shows paper.
In the next round both show paper.
In the third round, Thomas shows scissors and Gladys shows rock.
In the fourth round Thomas shows paper, Gladys shows scissors, making her the winner.
Thomas frowns and looks down.

THOMAS
I wonder how he would feel if he knew
we were gambling on his liver like this?


GLADYS

Probably like Job did in the Bible when
God gambled on him with Satan.

THOMAS
You’re just cynical. I hope you never finish your degree
and become a therapist. Okay, well, I guess it’s me then.

A nurse walks through an electronic door carrying a clipboard. She has a deeply somber look on her face. She looks down at the clipboard and calls Thomas and Gladys to the back. They walk back with her through a series of double doors.

NURSE
He’s going to make it. There’s no need for surgery.
We pumped most of the drugs from his stomach.
He’s going to have a hang over, maybe a slight case of alcohol poisoning.
Nothing a few days here can’t help. He better count his lucky stars, that one.

THOMAS (VO)
Not sure if I believe in that anymore.

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